This is time I will never get back

To quote Lord Awesome, "yes, surveys are the stupidest, most obnoxious things ever, but sometimes you're just that bored." Or something like that. I can't be bothered to look up the actual wording; it's 1:00 on a Wednesday, and I'm still in pajamas. Anyway.It appears I'm in mildly high demand, with both California Will and Hydrass asking that I fill out of of these little get-to-know-me-s. So, I humbly acquiesce to their request. But, honestly, guys, I'm not that interesting. You're about to be sorely disappointed.

Three names you've gone by
1. Spark of Life
2. Dolly
3. That girl who falls a lot (but there are some who call me.....Tim?)
Screennames you've had
1.sparkxofxlife
Three things you like about yourself
1. my sense of humor
2. my analytical mind
3. the mole by my right eye
Three things you don't like about yourself
1. I can be very self-conscious
2. I can't dance (I mean, I was a dancer for 10 years, but I can't dance dance)
3. my nose
Three parts of your heritage
1. Polish
2. Hungarian
3. Czech
Three things that scare you
1. committement (and relationships in general)
2. failure
3. disappointing others
Three everyday essentials
1. shower
2. internet (not getting this right now)
3. something to tie my hair back with
Favorite articles of clothing
1. big yellow gollashes
2. any oversized man's white workshirt (I've got tons)
3. blue camisol
Favorite music
1. any musical
2. film scores
3. Billy Joel
Favorite Songs of the moment
1. Defying Gravity (Wicked)
2. Another SUitcase in Another Hall (Evita)
3. Mr. Brightside
Three things you want to do in the next year
1. be brave enough to return to my natual hair color (that's right, it's not really black)
2. get back on the mainstage
3. make an A in theatre hist.
Three things you want in a relationship
1. Respect
2. humor
3. personal space
Two truths and a lie
1. I stuck my tongue to a metal pole. Twice.
2. I've had a liason with a professor.
3. I'm Jewish.
Three things about the opposite sex that appeal to you
1. lanky (that Jimmy Stewart look)
2. wit
3. vocabulary
Three things you just can't do
1. dance
2. make higher than a B in a math class
3. admit I'm wrong
Three favorite hobbies
1. theatre
2. reading
3. movies
Three things you want to do really badly right now
1. get the internet in my apartment
2. eat fast-food
3. make out with Josh Estrada (he was quite minty)
Three careers you're considering
1 .actor
2. editor
3. writer
Three places you want to go on vacation
1. Ireland
2. somewhere along the Mediterranean
3. India
Three kids names
(let me preface this by saying that I never want children, but I'm sure most of you know that. But. I love names)
1. Atticus James
2. Holden Prentice
3. Virginia Simone
Three things to do before you die
1. play Grusha in The Caucasian Chalk Circle
2. have sex fully clothed in an airplan bathroom (or anywhere, for that matter; I shouldn't be picky)
3. meet DHP

Pasta and Porn

New job at Aunty Pasta's. Glorious. Wonderful and exciting. The passion and the fury. There's something really great about wearing your own clothes to work, eating amazing Italian food for free, and not having to utter the phrase "thank you, enjoy the show." And no Movie Tunes. Bliss. On the downside, no free movies. No Harry Potter 13 times.

On a completely unrelated note, I watched my first porn. Well, sort of. Does One Night in Paris count as porn? There is some dispute over this. I was quietly sitting in the livingroom reading, doing things completely un-sex related, and this little video is popped in. Oh, my. I experienced fear, embarassment, laughter, and digust (in that order). Let me tell ya, that Paris Hilton is one slutty ho. I mean it.

So begins the summer of my corruption.

May the Force be with Jews

I have done one of the most singularly dorky things in my pitiful existance. Yesterday I waited in line for 3 hours to buy tickets to the midnight screening of "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" and then waited another 5 to get a good seat. Ans it wasn't just that I waited, oh no. That could be almost normal. I brought a lawn chair, my light saber, and shirt that read "Jedi Master" which I made just for the occasion. This is what I am doing with my life.

For the most part it was fun; I had friends with me to pass the time. However, NEVER underestimate the power and aggression of nerds in large numbers. More than one light saber battle broke out, Star Wars terrorists drove by throwing granola bars at us (WTF?!), and more than once I was hit on by what I like to call a "dork supreme" whose best plan of attack was "I don't have a girlfriend." And I'd not like to relive the events that took place when we actually got into the theatre. Let's just say that the seat saving Nazis didn't particularly like me. Being told to "suck a fuck" by a 12-year-old is not an experience I'd like to repeat. But then I kicked him. In the shins.

Movie Verdict
I'll start by saying that I am definitely not George Lucas's biggest fan. There is a reason that the best Star Wars movies were the ones he didn't direct. This one was the best out of the 3 prequels, though. Overall: acting still cakey, dialog still choppy, and some major moments were passed over which could easily have been played up. I think Ewan McGreggor was at his worst (that sais, he was still better than most everyone else), and so was Natalie Portman; the Padme character has gone from being this empowered woman to a near waif - yes, you're pregnant, but don't be a pansy. Guy that played Chancellor Palpatine was the best part, but when he officially turned evil, even he got a bit ham-handed. I like it, though.

I like it, though. It was more than worth being accosted by a man in a storm troopper outfit and who asked if he could stick his light saber in me.

Moving on up

So, this may very well be my last entry in a very long time. I'll explain in a second.

The tyranny and oppression of finals week is finally over, and I have come to the conclusion that I will have to sleep my Astronomy professor in order to stay on the Dean's List. It's alright. The same thing happened last year with Geology, and she was a woman, so I think I'll have less of a time dealing with a man.

The dorm is almost empty, and let me tell you, that took quite an effort. You have no idea how hard it is to get rid of 4 dead hookers, a crack baby, 18 lbs. of crystal meth, my incredible time machine, a copy of "Purple Rain," and Christopher Walken out of a room unnoticed. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if we had been caught with that "Purple Rain." The very thought makes me paranoid.

So, to the point. In order to save costs for the summer, Red and I have decided to forego internet and cable until school starts. I know, this is just crazy talk. But, we are dirt poor, and unless both of us want to work the corner (of University and North, $200 gets you a whole night), we need to cut some major corners. Alas, I shan't be updating as much as I'd like, which I know shall bring a tear to many an eye.

For now, have a good summer, all. Go out, make merry, don't get too drunk or pregnant, and if you see my destitute ass in a cardboard box somewhere, help a sister out.

Some prozac for blogger

To compensate for my pissy mood in that last post, here's a very happy, very warm and cuddley picture of my cat. No, not that, you douche. Get your mind out of the gutter (and if you happen upon mine while you're there, tell it I've been looking for it). But I digress. I'm talking about my ultra secret, super illegal kitty, Moira, that I'm hiding in the dorms.

[Edit: I have been told that she looks like Satan, here. But, really.............have I ever said she isn't?]

What a waste of a nice dress

Fucking balls.

If possible, this year's banquet turned out worse than the last, but for completely different reasons. Tonight I am incredibly pissed (in the American sense) which has lead me to, for the first time, want to get really pissed (in the British sense). But I won't. Because it's a silly thing to do.

I'm so mother fucking depressed right now. And I knew. I knew that this would all be a bad idea (forgive the ambiguous reference), and I knew that I was going to end up being let down. I tried to have a good time tonight, I really did. I wanted to have a good time, and I was with someone who I wanted to have a good time, too. I wish I weren't so fucking self conscious about everything. I'm starting to realize that I............ugh. I'm starting to realize that I can't finish my sentences and say what I really want to say.

I'm starting to doubt a lot of things about myself. And I'm feeling.........underappreciated is the wrong word - it's too needy. More like.......people aren't looking close enough.

Fucking boys. Fucking department. Fucking me not being able to dance. Fucking bad food. Fucking not calling. Fucking having to deal with other people and not getting to be with my friends. Fuck.

This is all so stupid. Stupid things to be upset about. None of this matters, really. And I feel weak for letting all this get to me. Because it's all so small. I really hate........things.

No, it wasn't raining men

Dear Hydrass,

When I said that I'd like some of that weather sent my way, I did not mean this. What I had in mind was a nice snow flurry or a nice crisp breeze. What I got was bitter cold, and torrential rain. The only plus was that I got to break out my yellow gollashes. Is that the best the best you can do, Hydrass?

I know you're better than that. I'll expect more out of you next time.


Regards,
Spark of Life

P.S. This only supports my belief that Canadians are silly and can only be used for evil. I will always blame Canada.

We're all in the mood for a melody

Went on my first date in about 9 months yesterday with Piano Man. Background: 22, film major, plays piano orgasmically, and composes his own music. We were set up by a mutual friend after our first acquaintence, based solely on the superficial reason that we found eachother attractive ( and I know this violates nearly every personal rule I've set forth about dating creative types, but whatev.) .

It went well. Lunch at Auntie Pasta's. I talked too much. Or maybe he talked too little. He met Moira; liked her. Went back to his later. He knows about DHP and is appears to still be attracted. This is a good sign.

But.

There is no..........spark. This is v.v. bad. I should, by all accounts, be fawning all over this man, but I'm completely relaxed about it - borderline indifferent. This isn't a good sign.

So, I seek council: do you think that chemistry can be cultivated with time, or does there have to be an innate spark for a relationship to work?