Makes you want to watch "Jaws"

It's the end of July, and for The Discovery Channel, that can only mean one thing: Shark Week. Oh, yes, it's here again. Those glorious 7 days in which one can learn everything one every wanted to know about those fiesty kings of the deep.

Did I ever tell you how much I love Shark Week?

We've got "Dirty Jobs" with Mark Rowe - shark autopsy and shark tagging; "Great White Down Under" - in which marine biologists seek the ever elusive Great White during mating season (a feat never before accomplished); "Shark Myths" - can a shark really detect a single drop of blood in the water?; and my personal favorite: "Anatomy of a Shark Bite." They've got the usual bite imprints made from shark skeletons, etc., but this year brings something new. Actual footage of the carnage of a shark attack. You get to see the bite as it happens! The tear of flesh, the crack of bone, the face of agony on the victim.

Man, Shark Week owns.

Nice rack

Considering the angry wrath of my last post, I figured that a more chipper update is in order. But what to write about? According to The Mexiwon't and Jorph: "Write about something interesting......but with better tits." So why not.

Something interesting: Independence Day in pictures. That was the beginning of a staggering number of nights in which I was drunk. More days in the past two weeks than I have been in the rest of my life put together. I don't know if this is at all interesting. But let's just say: sparklers, me, and an empty bottle of wine don't mix. By the end of the night a debate was raging over whether or not sex should stop if one the parties lets one fly. Your thoughts?

With better tits: Salma Hayek

Shit Went Down at The Bell

I am disgusted. Bewildered. Irate. And furious, as the title suggests. Acts of ignorance, hate, stupidity, and general asshole-ness don't really sink in until they've happened to you or those around you.

Tonight during one of our regular trips to The Bell, The Boys and I were yelled at by the occupants of a truck while we were going inside. Yelled at in a fun, college-student way, not the"I'm and ignorant asshole who's about to do something hateful" way. So it was much to our surprise when these guys were trying to get into The Bell a few minutes later, and I, regretfully, let them in, thinking that maybe their order had been messed up or something. Dumb bastards didn't even say "thank you." They then proceeded to approach two of The Boys and accuse them of making fun of the country music they had been playing and "dancing around like faggots." (we had no idea what they were talking about; innocent bystanders, all). Violence and a bloody nose ensued, with one of the guys repeatedly striking Boy #2. What. The Fuck. I don't even know what to say to that. I apparently didn't know what to do, either, as all of us just sort of stood there in shock as the events took place. Assholes then ran out to their car in the Long John's parking lot, where their girlfriends were waiting to gettaway drive. I ran out and tried to get the plate #, but I couldn't. It was dark, the car was far away, and they were shouting numbers at me. A lame, stupid tactic, which, I'm ashamed to say, worked. They're gone.

I can't even........WHAT?!?!?! Who does that?! What is the thought process that goes through your mind when you make the decision to go out of your way to assault someone? This makes me ridiculously upset (I started crying, and Boy#2 was the one all calm and nonchalant). It bothers me that there are people in the world like this. And what makes me even more irate is the fact that those bastards' girlfriends were waiting in the car to drive them away. I can't stand dumb bitches. "Sure honey, I'll keep it in neutral while you go assault some random person!" That really gets to me; maybe it's a woman thing. I'm just going to have to use the C-word: Those stupid cunts are a disgrace to the female sex. It's people like this that reinforce the stereotype of the Southern fraternity/sorority hick. My heart is black right now. Never have I wanted to punch something so hard. Of course, the fact that they're getting away with it only makes things worse.

It's times like these that I wish I was Batman.

Damn you idiotic fraternity assholes and your ignorant, bubble-headed bitch girlfriends. Fuck you.

Disclaimer: This may have sounded a tad bit angry. Well, that's how I'm feeling. At least I can take it out in writing rather than one someone else's face.

WTF of the day

You know what blows (besides my previous post, situation now hopefully rectified)? When you go to turn in your money at the end of your shift and you come up $3 short and no one, not even the managers, has any idea why. I worked for - $3 today.

Instead of feeling really angry at the injustice of it, I just feel sad and defeated. Despite this, I feel it necessary to give the requisite:

[Local Italian restaurant for which I work] WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!