I have decided to forego any paragraph structure in today's entry. I was reading a couple of the "latest updated blogs", and I came across one for AP English . An AP English blog. Wow. I have no words. Not too much is going on. Audrey's out of town for the weekend, and my rehearsals don't start until next week. Ah, well. Speaking of rehearsals, my character in The Fifth Sun is the Mayan Lord of Death and an El Salvadorian colonel. Superfly. I'm all kinds of excited. Going back home to see "Fiddler" next weekend. Woot woot. They opened last night. Hope everything went well. It's so weird that I'm still all involved with Austin theatre. I mean, seriously, I wonder about their rehersals and the casting of shows. Dude, I need to move on. Started costume Pro-Lab today. No more Steve. Hallelujiah. I actually had fun; it was weird. Must go write English paper.

"..If it was so, it might be; if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."

Finally got cast in a show. The downstage The Fifth Sun. I'm all kinds of excited. I was at Speck's watching Amadeus (with Wicks...arg), and Some one taped the cast list to Speck's door. It rocked my socks. I was getting so sick of auditioning and not getting anything.

Classes are going well. My beginning acting teacher told me that the only characters I'll ever play are villians and seductresses. I was a bit perturbed, but she told me that I really need to change my hair in order to alter my type. Ah, well, I was kind of expecting that. We have monologues due in a week, and I think that I'm going to pick something totally against type. Maybe something from Pygmalion. Eliza is the ultimate ingenue - I can't get much more away from the villian than her.

In the guy department. I'm trying to wean myself away from Wicks (I think he's getting the hint), and I've decided to just go for it with Tim (despite both my magic 8 ball, and my Movie Book of Answers advising me against it). I've been told that he thinks that I'm absolutely wonderful, so why not. He seems pretty non-lame (thanks, Aaron), and since I know that he likes me, there's nothing for me to lose. And if things don't work out, I'm still 3 hours away. Well, until the summer, that is. I don't know what's going to happen then. But, whatever.

"...just because you're not on fire doesn't mean your problems are any less severe."

Thanks for keeping me sane.

It's been a good weekend. Even though Audrey isn't here, I've had a good time (well, between avoiding Wicks's phone calls, that is). Not having Audrey around has made me appreciate my other friends even more.

On Friday night I went to Wal-Mart with Shawna and Kristy at midnight. Got home and had a good talk with Aaron over my guy situation. He definitely made me feel less crappy/insane about the whole thing. I've decided to just end it with both of them. I am an absolutely terrible person. I guess college does that to you.

Yesterday went to the hall (yes, in Nac we have not a mall, but a hall), then to Lufkin, and then Tyler with Shawna, Kristy, and Tommy. We had some really good conversation on the drive there (what is your fetish?.......holy crap), and jammed to N*SYNC (meh) on the way back. All in all, a good weekend.

Didn't get cast in any downstages. Damn. I'll live, I suppose.

"Damn, It looks like the 80s just threw up on those girls." - Shawna

I have a small situation. Another one. Well, I met Wicks at auditions for the mainstages and we hit it off a bit. Yesterday we spent 3 hours sitting together in the lounge. Last night I went with him to play video games with Speck and Jenn. That was all good and fun, I really sucked at Mario Kart, but that's beside the point. He walked me home......and......stuff.....Yeah. Then I immediatley got that feeling that I always get when I learn that a guy reciprocates the feelings that I have for him: GET OUT!!!! I don't know what's with me, but the moment I learn that some one feels the same way as I feel about them, I freak. It's like I hear the word "relationship" and this great big siren goes off in my head. And then there's that whole thing with Tim back home (who, by the way, wrote me this e-mail containing a poem, and telling me how much I reminded him of this elf he's reading about). I'm so screwed. I haven't got a clue what to do. I didn't want any of this crap to happen; I hate drama. I mean, I wasn't even looking for a guy. Argh. When it rains, it pours.

Didn't get called back or cast in either of the mainstages. No biggie, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't disappointed. I auditioned for the downstages today. Here's hoping.

"Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you."

So, as promised, here it is: the good the bad and the ugly of my break.

The Good: Going back to work. Seeing all my friends from H.S. Finding out that I get to work with Erica and Rosemary. The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Catching up with Aaron, Nevets, Allen, Jake and Buban. Love, Actually. Late night conversation in the break room with Ashley. Seeing family. Using an English accent at work and people actually believing it. Cold Mountain. Lots of awesome food. The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger. Made the Dean's list. Talking about movies with Phil. Finishing reading Harry Potter #5 to my little brother. Late night Denny's trips. Employee screenings. Christmas presents. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Seeing my cat again. Watching Fiddler rehearsal. Not having fire drills at 2 a.m.

The Bad: My family after about a week. Putting up the Christmas tree by myself. Having to paint the living room. Having to paint the hallway. Having to paint the kitchen. Having to paint my mom's room and then her telling me that she hates it. Along Came Polly. Grandma refusing to believe that I'm not the same person that I was when I was 5. A certain situation I mentioned in an earlier post. Everyone answering to the beck and call of my bratty little sister. People ingnoring my neglected middle-child-syndromed brother. Arguements with my parents over chosen field of study. Only getting 1 weeks worth of good weather. My family's dog. Finding out that we're moving this summer. Grandma telling me just how much she hates my hair.

The Ugly: Seeing just how much weight I've gained since I started school.

Just had auditions for "The Man Who Came to Dinner" and the play reading festival. After taking about 2 hours to decide what to wear, and coming to the conclusion that I am in desperate need of new clothes, I went. The one thing that I'm supersticious about is talking about a show before it is actually cast, so I won't elaborate. I will elaborate on how happy I am that all theatre classes were cancelled today for auditions. Woot woot. No classes for half of tomorrow, either. I'm all kinds of excited.

What I'm not excited about: Audrey's Uncle passed away. She left for back home this afternoon. Audrey, I love you, and I hope everything is getting better. You know my whole "I don't do feelings" thing, so I'm just being sort of passive active and writing about how much I care about you here. I can't wait until you get back.

On the upside, I did get new comment thingies. But I lost all the old comments. Poo.

"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes." - Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854
(probably the only good thing thing he ever said in that blasted piece of crap)

So. I'm back at school. Thank GOD. As promised, I will have a full summary of the holiday's events, but blogspeak is down, and I'm trying to wait until then........

However. I do need to get something off my chest. Certain events (nothing earth-shattering) transpired between me and a certain member of the opposite sex, and now I'm getting a bit freaked. I really don't know what the hell I was thinking at the time, but I seem to have come to my senses now, and am having major reservations. Honestly, what did I think I was doing? Thank everything that is good and Holy that I don't have to see him again until I go back home. Sorry for not being more direct with this, but well......I kinda have to be. I'll probably just be all "screw it", and spill it all later, but I'm in a bit of a weird place right now, and I don't want to upset him (who, in truth, probably doesn't read this), or certain other people who may be a bit weirded out by the whole thing. I dunno. I think I'm going to go try NOT to think about this.

".....the trouble is, humans do have a knack for choosing precisely those things that are worst for them....."

For some reason the comment thing at the bottom of the entries isn't working. Poo. I can't wait to go back to school.

Well, I figured I'd try and update to let everyone know that I'm still alive (and I found a way to delete computer history so that the parentals don't know that I'm badmouthing them). Anyway, stuff is pretty good. Work is good. The holidays are good. Everything is just all around good. I've gotten a bunch of really good books lately. The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisenberger, The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and The Alienist by Caleb Carr.

Planning on going to check out "Fiddler" rehearsal tomorrow. Should be high quality entertainment.

Just found out that family is moving to some random stick-in-a-puddle town at the end of the summer. I'm a wee bit perturbed. I've sorta known that this was coming, but I just didn't think that it would be so far away. No more AMC. That really hacks me off. When Ma told me, I cried. Seriously. Argh.

I'll have a full update of the good, the bad, and the ugly of the break when I get back to school in 2 weeks.