Ready for anything

During most of the dull and monotonous morning shifts at the restaurant, I spend much of my time not checking on tables, but leaning against the hostess stand and letting my mind wander (often to thoughts of David Hyde Pierce). But every once in a while something interesting happens which spurs immediate action, or the wheels in my mind start to turn. Take yesterday, for example. One of the managers is explaining to the staff how busy we expect to be for the rest of the day.

"Yesterday was fast, but then it slowed down. We're just not sure what's going to happen. Be ready for anything, guys. " (this is said with the utmost seriousness, as if the fate of the world rested on our 1 - 3 p.m. intake)

My brain starts springing into action in order to save myself from certain boredom. "Anything?" Immediately thoughts come of mind of: ninjas coming through the windows, a plague of locusts, 48 vomitting children (or just regular children, actually, they're all nightmares), alien invasion, a sudden epidemic of tuberculosis, a flood of banana pudding, a tornado, Mr. T (I've heard he's very demanding), the resurgence of Communism beginning with our little restaurant......Anything. And then I spent the rest of my shift planning. This is why I'm a good employee.