June is for Jews

Things I have done recently that are really starting to make this summer really interesting:

Had shots of alcohol
Watched porn
Eaten nothing but Ramen
Had sex with 3 midgets*
Played spin the bottle for the first time
Been propositioned by a customer
Slept in a professor's bed**
Made out with a woman
Converted to Judaism***
Broken my bed
Drowned another girl in a fountain^
Been promised the gift of lingerie

*This is a lie.
**Strangely enough, this is true
***This is also a lie. Of course, I'm already Jewish.
^But she deserved it. They all do.