Hey baby I hear the blues are callin' tossed salads and scrambled eggs

I would like to take this time to address something which heretofore has only been hinted at in the : my undying love for David Hyde Pierce. I'm sure most of you have heard me speak of my strange fascination with this man, but I'm not sure I have ever explained why, or to what extent. Let me educate you.

(Insert stream-of-consciousness gushing)

David Hyde Pierce is the coolest cat on the planet. Some may say that he's old, but what about all those people with affinities for Sean Connery? DHP can pull off suspenders, which are HOT. I don't think Mr. Connery can do that, not many people can. There is speculation that Pierce is gay, to which I reply with one word: metrosexual. He's just a cultured man who happens to have an exceptionally good dress sense. And I'll have you know, he has been known to wear many a pair of jeans and plain white t-shirt. And he's tall in skinny, which is so incredibly attractive in that James Stewart, Ray Bolger sort of way. He's got this voice which is refreshingly devoid of any hint of accent, and very articulate, without sounding pretentious or condescending. Incredibly intelligent man, and wickedly witty, but also with a self-deprecating side.

David Hyde Pierce, I love you with every fiber of my being. To paraphrase a puta, "if my love were chocolate, it would take 10,000 bottles of Yoohoo! to reach my level of milk chocolatey goodness." I would give up doing naked cartwheels in the woods with The Vag if it displeased you. I must ask: Will you marry me?