Surviving the band saw

Listen my dear children, and you shall hear a wonderful tale, a tale of great trimuph, suffering, and polygonal tribulations which afflicted the lives of two Team-Death Putas.

It was on a Sunday of All Hallows Eve when two Putas by the names of Dick and Jane could be found in Turner auditorium at the second day of the Six Characters load-in. Very tired were they, as Jane had spent the night before partying as Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction, and Dick had stayed up into the we hours of the morning taking delights in the pleasures of Taco Bell and cartoons. As work began to get underway, Dick asked Jane for assistance in crafting a device that would fill a gap in the lift of the stage, a task that would provide them with tears, laughter, sweat, snot, and memories for years to come. After taking measurements for the gap-filler on his arm, Dick and Jane frolicked into the Turner shop and transferred these measurements on to a piece of scrap plywood; many markings were made, as none of them seemed to match up into the shape of the actual gap. When the two were satisfied with their strange polygon, the took the lumber to the jigsaw and cut away, afterwards bringing their shape to the gap, and realizing, much to their dismay, that it was too large. Oh, the sorrow that befell our two carpenters! Sadly, Dick and Jane traipsed back to the shop with a new set of measurements and cut a new, more streamlined shape. Taking in again back to the gap, horror crossed their faces as their new piece of wood was too steep to fit in the hole. What agony they went through, what pain! Not one, but two failed attempts! What were our putas to do? Feeling very down on their luck, but still keeping their spirits high, they sidled into the shop for one last attempt, measuring acutely, tracing accurately, and cutting precisely what they thought they'd need. Would this third foray work? Would their tribulations be at an end? They certainly hoped so. Dick and Jane took their shape expectantly to the gap, and lo! It fit! Completely flush on all sides, their unonrthodox polygon finally did the trick. Oh, frabjous day. After finally accomplishimg their task, the screwed on a leg, and one more piece of lumber for the gap, thus ensuring that their efforts would not be in vain.

And so, Dick and Jane skipped merrily home, after spending two hours triumphing over strange angles and measurements, knowing that they forged against all odds the formation of a wooden masterpiece.