Then let them eat cake

There once was a time of darkness and depression. A time in which mediocre meals and unsatisfying snacks ruled all. A time in which many temporal pleausres were shunted aside in favor of the inexpensive staples Ramen and PB&J. A time without cake.

But, lo! A beacon of light shone upon this cakeless era. And that beacon was called: Jorph and Sparks decide to get off their asses, go to Wal-Mart and bake a cake.

The expanses of Wal-Mart were dark and treacherous, deadly distractions coming at every turn. Despite mortal peril and the threat of a most certain death by grocery cart accidnet, our heroes made it to the baking aisle, and after much deliberation, decided on a Red Velvet cake with vanilla icing (which Sparks thought was quite stupid, because everyone knows that Red Velvet cakes are supposed to have cream cheese icing). And additional purchase was made of special red icing for the top with which to write a comical, yet profound message on the top of our cake.

The journey home was filled with glee and anticipation of what was to come. Once in Jorph's kitchen, we faced even more harships in the way of: lack of crisco, lack of backing pans, lack of a spatula, and for Jorph, lack of common sense. His dumb oven didn't want to work, either. But, in the face of this eminent danger, Sparks and Jorph triumphed in the face of adversity, concocting a most delicious double-layer cake with the legend "Jorph and Sparks rock" on the top (because it was 1 a.m., and their wits were running low).

Today the culinary masterpiece was feasted upon by the bakers, and the peasnats rejoiced, facing the oppression of dull foods no more.