Something that happened today shattered the very foundation of my happiness. Four years ago I bought a fabulous item at my local Target: one Mickey Mouse watch. This watch has been the source of much entertainment, as it plays music, has a digital dancing Mickey, shows the date, and much, much more. It pained me greatly, therefore, when today when a member of my Stage-Makeup class asked the date, I looked down at my watch and discovered, much to my dismay, that it showed the date as March 3rd rather than March 2nd. After my desperate attempt to fix it, I handed it over to two other people - neither of which could remedy my problem, but did succeed in changing the time and turing the date to January 1st. I have resigned myself to the worst of non-date-knowing days. What will I do now when I need to know the date? Ask some one else and admit my ignorance? No, my friends, I will not - I refuse. I have decided to hire someone whose sole perpose is to follow me around and supply me with the date and time. I will be accepting applications tomorrow at noon.

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." - Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx