Today's entry is entitled: I hate Irony.

I think I've said this before, but I'm going to repeat it, because it bears repeating. Since I've started school, I haven't been attracted to a single person, nor have I yet wanted to be in a relationship. However, that's not from lack of effort. Apparently this year the male sex has finally realized that I am indeed a girl, and has decided to act quickly on that realization, much to my dismay. The escapades of James, Tim, Wicks, and John have left me in quite a state - nothing against them, for the most part they're wonderful guys, but I just didn't want or more specifically need a significant other. I'm not a relationship person to begin with, but coupling that relucatance and the schedule that I have, would make it near impossible to make a relationship work. That in and of itself is ironic: that I don't want to be in a relationship, but I can't get away from propositions. But that's all just recap.

Now, there has been a guy that I've been up in the air about for a while; haven't been able to decide quite how I feel about him, or what I want to happen. I did my usual round of "I don't need a relationship, no wait, I should just throw caution to the wind and go for it" , and "Do I really like him, or am I just trying to convince myself that I do, so that I don't come off as an ice-queen again", and various other things. Well, finally I decide what the hell, I'll go for it. The thing that pushed it over the edge for me was that he genuinely seemed to like me, and I think that I liked him a bit. Thus far, the people who have gone after me, haven't really been my cup of tea, and so for me to even have a smidgen of affection for this guy is a big deal. I don't know how I an explain that better. Lemme think........I guess I just thought that sine the feeling is a bit reciprocated by me (even though I was unsure), then I may as well just dive right in, because I don't normally reciprocate. Anyway.

Moving on. Come to find out he isn't looking for a relationship. Yeah. Now, I heard this through the grapevine first, and then it was just confirmed by him about an hour ago. Yeah. Now, I'm not one to freak out over guys; they've just never been that big of a deal to me, and this isn't any different. After all, I was really up in the air about the whole thing. However, I did decided to see where this would lead. That's what perturbed me - that I actually decide to go through with it, and then it turns out to be nothing. So it's not actually him, it's the principle of it. I finally try to get into a relationship, only to be rejected (a harsh word that doesn't really apply here, but I can't think of anything else) by some one in the same mindset that I was in merely days ago. I annoy myself sometimes. And this isn't a big deal, it really isn't. I just needed to vent. Meh.

"Bill Brasky hates Mexicans. Bill Brasky himself is half Mexican. Bill Brasky also hates irony."