Foolish wand-waving

I carry a wand. Yes, a wand. This is not a metapjor for anything - I actually carry a wand. Though any explanation may prove fruitless in making that previous statement any less odd, I will at least attempt to convince you that this fact is not the characteristic of a pathetic individual out of touch with reality, but rather the charmingly cute idiosyncracy of a lovable obssessive.

Any of you who know me or have spent any considerable amount of time reading here know that I am an avid fan of "Harry Potter." And that is quite possibly the understatement of the century - the Potterverse reduces me to that wretched state of near annoying over-infatuation: the Fangirl. J.K Rowling's page-turning tomes have have generated in me an embarassing amount of sqeeage that can only be rivaled by a throng of pre-adolescent females a Backstreet Boys concert.

So, it was with much excitement last August that on my 21st birthday I received a package marked with that logo that I have come to associate with all things magical: Alivan's.I knew this could mean only one of two things, and since the box was considerably smaller that what could hold a broom.... I opened [read: unceremoniously ripped apart] the package with an embarassing degree of unbridled excitement, and lo! What did I find? A hand-crafted Rosewood wand, 14.5 inches, with a core of dragon heartstring. It was love at first sight. SInce that day my wand and I have been inseparable - I take it everywhere. Everyday tasks have been made so much easier with the aid of a wand - cooking, cleaning, assassinating heads of state, opening doors at Wal-Mart (which I had previously done with the help fo the Jedi mind trick. There are those who tell me that they can open doors at Wal-mart without the use of magic or The Force - must investigate these claims).

What has started to become a problem is the fact that I carry my wand to work. I twirl it between my fingers, stick it in my hair in a Luna Lovegood-esque fashion, much to the amusement of my fellow employees. The trouble begins when I quite forget myself and bring it out in front of my tables*, gesturing with it and pointing out items on the menu. Oh, my. This practice has elicited many a response ranging from," why are you playing with a stick?" to "so, what, are you, like, a pagan?"** Often customers won't even comment, which is worse, I've come to decide. There's nothing more off-putting than walking away from a table wondering why they were looking at you oddly and then realizing that you'd been scratching your head with your magic wand. Now, if I could just accio their food to the table, then I'd show 'em......

* Mind out of gutter, please.
**To which I of course responded with, "No, I'm Jewish. And this is Kosher wood."