Okay, I've been debating whether or not to post about this guy James. I don't know if he knows that I have a blog, but he could find out, see this, and get all ahgoobwah on me. But, I figured if he does read my blog, I've already mentioned little things about him here and there, so I might as well spill the beans. That and I want to appease Chris the walrus. So, by popular demand: The Adventures of James and His Conquests

Let me just explain something first: I have a thing for smart, dorky guys. I am aware that it sounds really weird, but intelligence really does it for me. I had a crush on David Hyde Pierce for the longest time. There's something about a guy with a big vocabulary that I love. Don't make any jokes; I've heard them all. I'll now explain something else. Ever since I got here, I haven't been attracted to a single guy. There are all these intelligent, funny, nice, attractive guys around, and I feel.......nothin'. Zilch, zero, goose egg. I have absolutely no interest in guys right now. But another thing is that I didn't realize it until just a while ago. I've just never thought about it. Now we've got that out of the way. When I saw "The Increased Difficulty of Concentration" (our first show), I saw James for the first time. He played Karel Kreibel, this computer tech guy. I was all "Dude, flex those brain muscles!", but not in any serious way. Never gave him a second thought after that. Moving on. During "Pericles" James was the weapons handler, so I saw him a lot around backstage. He would always talk to me about random stuff like homestarrunner.com and whatnot. Anyway, during strike, he randomly asked me, "So what do you do when you're not a princess?" (my character was a princess). I didn't find it insinuating, or anything, just a normal question (now I know better). I mentioned how my back hurt, and he offered to rub my shoulders. It was the worst massage of my life. What made it worse is that it was also the longest. He then proceeded to follow me around everywhere and made sure that we were always working on the same stuff, and dragging me around to Gel Hell and whatnot. By now the slight intrigue of him being the brainy nerd from "IDoC" had worn off. Anywhoodle. He keeps telling me about this magic trick and how I should come over to his aprtment to see it, instead of going to the cast party. I explained about the situation of going to breakfast w/ Mom and Adam. He persisted in inviting me to all sorts of other things like improv meetings, which I found ways of avoiding. Well, over break, I get an online homestarrunner.com card, in which he tried to say something witty and just came off stupid. Get back from break. He calls and asks me if I'm doing anything. I'm all, "I'm going to the library to work on a project! Couldd be there for a really REALLY long time! Don't know when I'll be done!". He proceeds to inquire about my plans for the weekend, and I tell him I'm going hime to decorate the Christmas tree. Then he says we should go eat dinner on Sunday night. I get back from the library and Audrey says that he has called 5 MORE TIMES. Can you say desperate and clingy? I know I can. I avoid his calls for the next few days. Finally, I just decide to answer. I talk to him, giving excuses why I can't go to Flashbacks with him that night. And then there were random 2 minute silences here and there in which I would try to steer into the direction of saying "Bye". No go. Finally, Audrey calls me cell phone as an escape route for me , and I say "hey! my mom's on the phone, I gotta go!". He just called 2 seconds ago and left me THE LONGEST ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE EVER reminding that he's going to call me on Sunday about dinner. AAARRRGGG. I have a feeling that I'm going to be screening my calls for a while. But..........Audrey and I have devosed a plan! Muahaha. I now have a boyfriend. One Egan Finley, to be exact. I ment him when I was a student amassador to Britain, the summer of my sophomore year. We just started dating. He's a senior at Dulles H.S. and play Varsity soccer. If I'm ever around James, I'll call Audrey and ask her if she remembered to lock the door. 5 minutes later, she'll call my cell back, and I'll squeal appropriately "It's Egan! I haven't talked to hime in, like, ever! Oh, I miss my honey bunch so much!". That's the plan. I don't even want to think about the amount of lies that I have told James. I'm going straight to hell. Well. That's it. See, wasn't that exciting. I kinda hope that he does read this, so that I don't have to continue with this damn charade.

"Start at the beginning, and when you come to the end, stop."